A trend that raises red flags

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”  Titus 2: 3-5

I have noticed a trend in the writings of modern wives and mothers and it is something that I find myself wary of. Far too many women find solace (or misery in company?) when complaining. I know specifically of sites that are predicated on lamenting under the guise of “sincerity” and anyone who offers up a positive comment is labeled a “Pollyanna” who isn’t living an authentic life.  I don’t think that this is what writing about marriage and family should be. I think that there should be levity, there should be honesty, sarcasm can be applied where needed but it should not be a wallow in your disillusionment.

The question that these rants raise for me are: Does this trend then lead to women to the “grass is greener” mentality? Are we constantly trying to “one up”  each other on who has the most unappreciated life? Because I feel that is what’s happening! We are losing the enjoyment of the moment, and with young children the moments are fast-fleeting, to dwell on what could have been.

While I am thankful that we live in a time where it is acceptable to speak candidly about the trials and frustrations of being young wives and mothers I think we should take this opportunity to build up and encourage each other. The husband bashing and the self-pity over what your children have “robbed” from you all while drinking numerous bottles of wine with your like-minded friends is overplayed.*

Some of the best advice I have gotten has come from women who have experience, wisdom and maturity. They can empathize with what I am going through but don’t succumb to abject commiseration. This is what we should strive for: giving reassurance, fortitude and inspiration. It is what I look forward to as I become a woman mature in years. That I might remember my own experiences and help to equip other young women with the tools for patience,  love and understanding.

*Just so we are clear, I don’t think drinking wine is overplayed.


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